My heart’s confusion

  Today I woke up at 1pm pacific time, with my mind wondering what happen to a love that was promise to me.  I never got a response, and I have a feeling she has been avoiding me.  I guess she came to a conclusion that she would fall on the same behavior of ignoring me.  I hate being ignored, especially when I’m in right close to someone.  Though I get carried away because of my intensity of wishing to be with someone.  The feeling of holding someone is only in memory because of such a long period of time that had passed since the last time.  I just simply wanted to be with her but it never happened.

I lament of pushing it to see her though, but I knew I wasn’t going to return again for a while.  She knew I wasn’t going to return, and I guess that knowledge was the factor that made her retreat.  I miss her, but I guess she is doing a smart thing to push me away.   I knew somehow that she won’t be able to maintain sanity with me 3000 miles away.  So now I just look ahead and work hard to get that open time for anyone who wants me intensely.

Now though temporarily, I will withhold my feelings from my boston heart and face forward with new ventures.  The new ventures are something more to see potential.  Again, I feel alone, especially when I’ve been pushed away from all communication.  So I seek companionship via some form of communication but I get non because of her hard feelings for me.  Of course I do have friends here where I can convey my feelings too, but I need intimacy that I so much miss.  The silent treatment only hurts so much, and I’m forced to look somewhere else if I have no resolve in a certain amount of time.  That’s why it hurts so much that my boston heart disrupted me.

(sigh)

– g –

About Gerardo Valerio

I'm Gerardo J Valerio, a freelancer in graphic design and currently a game designer. My aspirations are to have my creative works to be known throughout the interwebs. I'm right now venturing into independent game development and hopefully be successful at it. I'm also a crohn disease sufferer but advocate to find solutions against it. I live in Boston but my second home will always be San Francisco. I'm hopeful one day to return to the bay area and share my knowledge to enthusiastic folks who are curious about me. Also, my blog is the center piece of my expressions. I have always used it to communicate my feelings and artistry. Now more than ever before I will be posting new features and behind the scenes development of my quest to be a game designer. - g -
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