Note: it takes me 7 hours to post one thing thanks to technical issues. [sigh]
Another month has passed, I didn’t write absolutely anything after the summary of the month previous to the previous lol [as you see a trend here]
So this month of November I will stop that trend with a few cool stuff. One of the things I want to harold in for November is that now I have my own private space upstairs. I made the office move from the dining room to the living room of the second floor. For logic sake, the living room space in the second floor is incomplete. How so? Well they started renovations in January 2011 and have not finished with the project. Why take the space now? Well because it’s okay enough to occupy vs how it was without walls and insulation in the summer when I came back in 2012.
So yeah, October was a blast! The downside of it was that patience with the damn dumpster thing was going on way too into the month and disrupting my overall focus. Then finally the bathroom got officially done even though it’s not properly finished. I had like an hour video describing all that mess of last month but decided to leave it on youtube for folks who are much more curious about me. Also if you been following my tweets, I teased immediate progress on there just for those who really want to know sooner than later.
As this is my public-private journal [try to make sense out of that!], I tend to write down stuff when I feel really centered to let the dogs out to the minefield that is the internet. So in this entry I feel ready.
To continue about October the upside to things is that the dumpster saga is OVER. It went gameover on Oct 15, in which I recorded a final video of the can moving out with the truck [will post at a later time].
Another good news is that my father is doing great and was able to fly down to Florida to hang out with my sister and company. There were a few snags in the way but now he is in good company, with a doctor giving him some really nice treatments that is helping him heal faster.
Then the biggest but oddest good news – my 2 weeks vacation away from my dear old mother lol
Why you ask? Well because in the middle of the dumpster saga [July 30 – Oct 15] my uncle found out that the source of my worries is my mother’s negative and closed perspective on life. One particular thing of course is fear and her nervousness. With this I started to become much more aware on what my uncle was talking about. Later I saw that it was her constant jittering naging and overprotectiveness that had me nervous and constantly going various times to the bathroom by shear anxiety. I didn’t notice this until my uncle pointed it out as he observed certain days when my mother goes all hawk mode in the house with my dad’s condition and other news.
Not being mean or anything, is just the nature of things. The fear and overwhelming negative cloud that my mother brings is really a tough cookie. Before my dad left with my mother to Florida, he told me an explosive secret that had changed my consciousness about the bigger picture on why things are with the nature of everything. My dad told me that my mother had an forced abortion before she had me. The abortion was caused by a fearful event while she was alone here in the city just when she moved from Dominican Republic. This is extremely revealing to me, as now I understand the overwhelming protection she has with with me and my siblings. Moreover how my mother is prejudice towards people of color.
So to tell the story why she is that particular way, I’ll post it later in detail on this particular family secret.
But continuing on the lucky streak of October, I took advantage in moving to my new office spot. The trigger was Zoe Coleman, a musician in the UK who does brilliant compositions! But how so you say? Well simply I saw that I couldn’t do much more creative things that doesn’t include just the computer to generate. As well now the needed space to be able to draw and pencil animate or simply be alone to conceptualize amazing things and talk to myself about it. It was always a consistent vigilance and control, while visitors take my attention and focus away. The anxiety jumps to a maximum, and simply I can’t perform.
Then finally when I woke up late in the afternoon and checked my email, seeing Zoe’s message, that triggered me to do something about my circumstances. Boom! I just looked around me and decided it was time to concentrate everything into one spot. I then found the furniture and all my things and set them up gradually to completely feel whole again. It was a mini genesis you can say, a revolution to recreate my new base of operations. I have awaken thanks to Zoe.
As she then produced a track, I was slowly working and demonstrating my game to old companions who wish to collaborate. I then pitted them with a new financial way to sustain and push our desire dreams into reality. The month of October was really productive in a business sense, as now things were clicking its way into a progressive state. Now the bad habits, those rachet things I must recreate an ego, or in other words, discipline myself to combat those Id things that sometimes get unbearable not to do. This is why I miss being in a group, because the program of discipline comes in with people who are as creative as I am. It’s a conduit for me to get things done quicker really. But now I have to make believe I have a person next to me to ignite my ego to react into a creative state. Why do you think Brain has pinky? It’s something that I feel I need to project to the other person so I can better see where I stand and improve. It also has to do with how I am celestially align with Mercury as my sign is Gemini, and it is essential that another sees my work and critique it, as that fuels me to work harder and improve. I just don’t physically have that element of persistence.
Now reaching the final days of October, Halloween and the Red Sox game six win, that really replenish the attitudes of many around my environment. Since I accomplished to hook up my computer after the off season of baseball was finished – finally now I have my desktop ready for battle! The semi-bad news with that is the experiment in seeing my 3TB hard drive wasn’t able to be access due to a Logical failure. Yes, in a way, that’s good news too. That means I can send it in to repair it, as it mechanically is able to work! The partition codes though are messed up, so we will see what happens with that in January, by then I will have enough cash to get that and my 2008 500G Hard drive sent in for recovery.
So as you can see many things for one single post. I will make an effort this month to post often so it won’t be so jumbled up like it is with this one. Moreover I just wanted to point out all the positives that’s been going on lately. I feel good and finally things are well performing as intended. Business wise I need to do a couple of things this week as I am now driving my focus on getting a Ps4 at launch. That’s another thing I’ll post later about. lol
So far November started very silently but now I can focus on what’s on my priority, finish up on Dark Zeta.
– g –