I’ll try not to do anything drastic for the next few weeks, since anything so ominous like a blood moon can be detrimental if I choose wrong. Not being superstitious, but usually these things in the past had taken my life for a spin. Just this past week my father suffered a “mini” heart attack. He’s okay now, but damn he is hard headed because of his choices recently made me feel very worried. He still keeps working himself out too. So the events before and after the blood moon happens, shit happens hardcore.
Last time after the first notice of the blood moon appearing, I separated from what could potentially be my future partner in life. Relationships suffer under this lunatic cycle, as even financial turmoil happen last time. Things get really intense, like the fire last friday as well. It’s all signs of transformation and getting rid of stuff. This is the part where attachment plays in – I’m attached to my father and my family. I’m attached to this person who I consider to be an amazing person. Anything goes under this symbol of change, but I want the ones I love to stay with me. Life just wants to be funky with me. So I have to be aware on my choices, thoughts, and desires.
First though, I choose to be a game designer because it always has been my dream to pursue it and be it. Every step I make in the process is always a delight, but now since my family is having REAL troubles, and to add into it I’m pretty much out of money. How can I keep the fire going? This month is my last real big push to concentrate on it, but so many things are driving me away from game development. I might have to put it on hold just to survive.
My real true reason to fight for my passion is to promote goodwill to every player who ever plays my game. My opus isn’t even started yet because of all the madness that’s been going on. I plan to do things, but life keeps pushing me away. So I resist and keep pushing back because this is me! If I quit it, I quit life. period. I’m here to change the course of things through this medium! So fuck you Blood moon! I’m going to keep doing this and I’ll always find a way.
– g –