Gerardo’s Adventures

  Today I woke up at 1pm pacific time, with my mind wondering what happen to a love that was promise to me.  I never got a response, and I have a feeling she has been avoiding me.  I guess she came to a conclusion that she would fall on the same behavior of ignoring me.  I hate being ignored, especially when I’m in right close to someone.  Though I get carried away because of my intensity of wishing to be with someone.  The feeling of holding someone is only in memory because of such a long period of time that had passed since the last time.  I just simply wanted to be with her but it never happened.

I lament of pushing it to see her though, but I knew I wasn’t going to return again for a while.  She knew I wasn’t going to return, and I guess that knowledge was the factor that made her retreat.  I miss her, but I guess she is doing a smart thing to push me away.   I knew somehow that she won’t be able to maintain sanity with me 3000 miles away.  So now I just look ahead and work hard to get that open time for anyone who wants me intensely.

Now though temporarily, I will withhold my feelings from my boston heart and face forward with new ventures.  The new ventures are something more to see potential.  Again, I feel alone, especially when I’ve been pushed away from all communication.  So I seek companionship via some form of communication but I get non because of her hard feelings for me.  Of course I do have friends here where I can convey my feelings too, but I need intimacy that I so much miss.  The silent treatment only hurts so much, and I’m forced to look somewhere else if I have no resolve in a certain amount of time.  That’s why it hurts so much that my boston heart disrupted me.

(sigh)

- g -

This is something I uploaded just out of wonder.  I didn’t notice that the song was playing in the background, and I was about to rant about something but then I got sidetracked.

Enjoy!

And relief.

I feel better today that my laptop is being worked on.  Yesterday I had to submit my laptop for repairs.  I was glad that it still had warranty, but I still had to buy a hard drive so that they could back up the entire system.  I’m still in denial though that my laptop fried up on me.  I wake up everyday thinking it still works but it doesn’t.

It’s all good now though because it’s being fixed!  Wooohooo!

Now you are wondering how my laptop fried right?  Well I don’t know exactly, but according to the tech he says that the motherboard zapped out.  So I tried to make sense why right?  Well I noticed that my apartment’s lights were off because the Microwave’s clock was reset.  I then thought it could of easily have been the unsafe outlet I was using to power my laptop.  I left it connected on the wall so when the power went out, there must of been a surge that killed my computer.

So of course after I learned about that my computer wasn’t responding (after 6 tries to restart), I broke down in tears and slept early until the afternoon of the next day.  Yeah of course it was hard on me, because I don’t have anything else to privately work with.  I then have this option to use the computers in my school’s campus, but it isn’t the same.  When I wake sometimes I have surges of ideas that I have to type immediately!  Or simply check my email and or facebook for replies.

So that’s the word.   Again I’ll try to update as current as I can but it ain’t a guarantee.

- g -

Everything started when my phone broke.  Something glitched out once a message was left on my phone, and then it just went bonkers! So currently I’m working right now to fix that problem, but then my favorite game of all time was taken from me and I got a little shocked.  I was sad for a little while, but then when I was offered to go to the Game Developer’s conference, I changed my feelings a little bit.  Of course I was stocked about it but I was still feeling unrest with my game missing.  I wasn’t really ready to go to this great event, but I put my good red hat on and went anyway.

I called everyone on the contact sheet to get my ticket to go to the Game Developer’s Conference.  I got one answer from calling  TEN numbers.  But then one other female on the list called me, so I met up with her to get the ticket.  Then I got to her at this restaurant and not only did I get a ticket, but I got TWO tickets to go in the event.  Afterward I meet with Matt from the list of contacts and we both went in to the event.  It was a good experience and I did get to take pictures.

I took pictures too at the apple store when I went to see in person, one of my game designer idles.  Hideo Kojima was at the apple store at Stockton St and Market.  It was surreal, and finally I got to experience such because I was waiting for something like it to happen.

So after everything was said and done, I relaxed in the main building of my school and soaked in what I have just witnessed.  Then after sitting for a while, the memory of my lost game came to me.  I felt bad, and the act of my game being taken away was curiously eating away with me.  I then told myself that everything balances out, one awesome good even to a shitty one.  I even say it couldn’t of been worse too, but still my trust was broken when my game was taken from me.

… oh well, I guess I’ll have to do without it for awhile.

- g -