A few days ago I purchased plane tickets to fly back to San Francisco. It seems that I will be moving back to boston and my flight back will  be the last of my occupation in San Francisco for a time.

The tickets I bought are of two way, so my circumstance of getting my stuff and leaving back to my hometown will be definite this time.

Last week somehow something heard my prayers. A settlement check came in of the sum I was telling out loud for weeks. I can take everything out now back to boston safely. Then previously weeks before I got a message on the phone telling me of a job offer of mobile apps stuff. Anyways, that job is offering to pay 18 dollars an hour.

18 dollars an hour. . .

Holy shit! 18 dollars an hour!!!! @_@ I never had that amount flash at me before.

I don’t know what to do. . . I can actually survive with that dough. But then the check that came in sides with me moving back. What is the best mathematical choice here?

 ………… (cont.)

. . . The job description key buzz word is “Mobile Apps”. This means that I can simply have a phone capable to work with apps that this undisclosed company would offer. I can do this anywhere.

I have access to such services to get the same jobs with that same field. Now the pay. . . Hmmmmm, well of course that will vary.

So, because I believe I need to solidify my stand with my things and go back to school and some how rise from this mediocre state, I need to make a motion quickly.

I feel a job is a job, and I feel super confident to find it where I know I can. Proof is how quickly I got my previous job. My real subconscious force tells me to move back to boston and recover from all the mess. I concluded that I failed, but now I need to move on. My next motion should initialize what I had planned on new years. Because I’m desperate now, I have no other choice but to fall back to my parents house for the temporary time. I know I’m smart enough to get back on my feet after this transition. I just gotta get shit going now.

My father, who owns a company, offered me a business. This business so far is working on the side to help pay what I owe back. The main conference in Las vegas will happen immediately after I come back from San Francisco that will help from that front.

On the other side, I have my best bud Bethy’s business venture start up. I’m going to assist in anyway with that.

Then I have my arcade/portfolio game project. This project I’ll be burning the midnight oil working on my html5 games and at the same time working on my own private games gallery online.

On the love front: I got none. After so much drama this year I thought going back to boston would give me some rest, but I have memories that only remind me at night on the folks who I lost contact and the folks who stop talking to me. Is like I’m some kind of repellent from the best things in life. But I guess I shouldn’t worry to find anything long term at this juncture because of my poor status. Although I do ask for a lasting friendship, because beyond it all, friends who accept me will have the best outlasting support. I value it right now to be best from anything else, even sex. If I need sex, I wouldn’t care to go for friendship. A mutual connection for me is much more meaningful because of the attention I need, sort of a kid. I’m a big kid, but if there is no communication then I feel lost like a kid. I’ll be able to move on, but I will always feel like something is missing.

Alright, so that’s all I got for today.

- g -

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So if you get to see this and actually think of the world around you in this point of view: You got super brownie points and know how to want to evolve into thinking beyond what we socially are. In all of this complexity we might get all tangled up with ourselves but when we pull out and view the world around us its so very simple and beautiful. Love, from what I believe, is a social device that unifies us in all conditions. We have to let go of our fabrications that limits us so we can think beyond. Where it comes to, I believe, is that we have to live life to our fullest potential and set our goals. It can be anything, but the rule here is: don’t let anyone pressure you to make your life what you want it to be. Ultimately it is up to you to take it to the next level.

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I have completed the level design for the first final level of Dark Zeta.  It took me about a month to complete because of motivational issues. The previous posts will help you find out why lol

Anyways, I have been working to put the elements together in the final level. Also I have been writing down ideas on a site redesign for DarkZeta.com. I want to make it much more streamlined for users to enjoy. Because there will be more than just one Dark Zeta game, I’ll have a list when I create the second chapter to Dark’s adventures. As well I’ll have many other elements in the website that will branch out slowly from the series. I already have a spin off to the game working since 2009, but I will demake it to NES standard because I created high resolution sprites from the remake of the project. Yup you heard right, a remake demake of a side scrolling shooter game I made in 2003.

That and I’ll have a new shooter also planned for next month as a prototype for my group.

Don’t worry, you’ll get to try it out later this year when I’m finished with it.

The games that spin from Dark Zeta universe will be in Dark Zeta website to play. As time goes by and more games trickle in, I have already an expansion planned for the website and my arcade website MarioLegend.com will harbor them as well with others that don’t go with the Dark Zeta series.

I’m pushing forth more energy for Dark because its my baby since forever and its time to unleash it.  I know that when the Dark Zeta series is laid out like I want it, everyone will love it.

So after I’m done with part one, I’m already ready to make part 2. The next part will be a completely different experience from the first one just to distinguish both.  Its like the difference between Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Bros. 2. Super Mario Bros. 2 in the USA of course (japan had a different more tougher expansion to the first mario which here they call it Lost Levels)

Those two games has a very distinguishable element in how they play. The first one you jump and squash, while the second one you jump and stand on the enemies. You have more of a realistic control to pick them up and toss them to the next enemy in the second mario bros game. That’s how radical I’ll have Dark Zeta 2 be, with new game design elements to make the series fresh.

So watch out! The next major update will happen in a month!

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I’m just basically saying what’s going on at the moment.  I took advantage of nobody being around to make noise or disturb me while recording.

Enjoy!

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

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This is how I feel currently. Its been already a month since I was last working. So much has happen in march. And I feel like Rourke in this time of pain. I recently lost a good friendship with someone close. My nature drove her off. I was protecting her from the fiery subsurface that lies within. I’m a dude who will work on something, but you must be advised that sometimes with life, that something won’t happen for a while. Demand got to a breaking point, and I couldn’t deliver a promise that I can’t keep.
 
Mikey Rourke  had the same things happening. He stood up with following his path to a point where he couldn’t go much further. So things got really tough for him, and unfortunately, he ended up with nothing. The real motivators he had was his dogs. My motivator was the friendship I had with my friend.
 
I feel lost currently, so I came about a few conclusive points this week. Find another muse and friend who can push me without any promise or expectation. Get my things in boston together. Reinstate myself into the working class and grind for gold until I have enough to support myself and my projects.
 
My demand is fairly simple to get to. Just have to support my babies which are my online creations and such. That shit cost money. The biggest hedge to jump over is the student loans coming up next month. I can’t focus creatively if I have that pending. That can single handedly kick my projects to hell if I don’t approach it in a smart way. Hell I’ve seen folks who do have such debt push it off or even never pay it back. I don’t even know if I should risk my life to do that or even ignore it. There is no money for it now, and there is no money in the next 6 months time to pay not even the first month bill. So I don’t even know what to do.
 
Anyways, I put my project on hold again to find a solution to this problem. My depression doesn’t help but just slow me down so I’m flying back to boston effectively in 5 days from this post.
 
This is of course to find my motivation and somehow beat this.

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I’ve been working since sunday on my game Dark Zeta. It’s been crazy week, with my colleagues graduating from the Art Institute of San Francisco. I went in to take a peak but bumped into friendly faces, so instead I hanged out with them.
 
My blog got accepted by google, thus ads will start showing next week once I get it going this weekend. After that I got my musicians! They are ready to play some original works in which I’ll be very excited to get a listen! Two great guys who knows their stuff. Also I’ll be updating darkzeta site with a credit page for the next update to give tribute to the awesome people who help me out. As well I’ll be giving mention to the volunteers on here. . .
 

I’m working diligently on the next update, which will be the end cap for the current mode. So I’m trying to find help right now to work the highscore board. Even though it doesn’t sound like something important, it actually is. I just have a hard time messing around with php and tinkering with the server without knowing what I’m doing. I just need some guide to get that piece done.

Besides all of that, I’m excited! Level 6 is gonna rock!

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GDC is over. I’m sad that it is. On top of that, I got no more job. So now what will I do in the day? It was fun having a responsibility and plan out on things to do in my spare time. Now I have too much time again. I get lost in such an unbalance trend. I need to get out. So I’ll try to go to a programmers club or something to do in the day while I search for that next job. Of course, I got lots of time to dive in my current game creation, I just feel like I get that spark at night, you know what I mean?

GDC was fun to attend. Wish I had a time machine to redo it again.

So far I’m trying out ad stuff at the moment. I want to monetize my product. So I’ll be doing that stuff this week.

Besides that, I’ll have an update to the game later this weekend. I’m adding two new bonus stages and replacing the assets for the flip card bonus stage. Also I’ll be adding new stuff in Level 5 and completing level 6.

In retrospect – This game I’m making has a very deep human connection. Subconsciously I’ve been just adding things as I go. No real plan, just whatever feels natural to add. The funny thing is, this game feels as if it has a connection to recent global events – particularly with the Kony issue. I look back and view it as a whole, in which I see a connection, to then realizing I indirectly made a game that relates to it. Simply amazing, in which is should be this way. So the final boss will be blessed with the name – Kony.

Remember now, initially I had no real name to the shadow beast. In this instance, I wanted it to be mysterious, but I saw that it was proper to reflect this event. We are initially afraid of the dark and a threat of something that lurks in it is that nerve killing feeling that reflects this shadow beast. It isn’t dead in the first round of the game. Help is there to instruct the bold hero to do what he can to save his family. This is what I feel the link with the Kony issue lay. My hero Dark has a human name, but I’ll let you find out what it is in game. It took me a while to figure out what I would name him.

Now going on to another element in game. I’ll be using the greek alphabet to symbolize numbers or parts in game. This is to replace my youthful corny ideas and redundancies. Like in later parts of the series, I have Dark vs Shadow. So to clear that redundant idea, I replace his clone’s name with a greek letter instead. So its now, Dark vs Gamma or Alpha vs Gamma. The guardian addresses Dark as the first incarnation element of dream matter, or an Alpha. This will give you a clue on where I’m going with Zeta.

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First thing though I wanted to leave note about my game Dark Zeta: Surreal Attack!! Its pretty much 90% done for normal, just have to rework level 5, add two new bonus stages (one auto slot, the other manual slot game), and implement final level 6 for normal mode.

The expected idea for level 6 is to have the family members of Dark in cages. Dark must find the keys in time and release each member of his family before the monster awakes! Once done within the set time, bam! game complete! The second quest will give dark his destined powers. In the events, Dark obtains his abilities from the guardian of dreams, to defend the world of Somnium. In this, the shadow beast still lives, and is seeking inhabitants to consume. It will not stop until the peaceful world of Somnium turns into a hellish nightmare.

Another question comes up of what is Zeta? There will be an area in the game that will describe it in depth. Its not in there just yet because I’m focused on getting the normal mode going, but the guardian of dreams will say what it is in the game once its there to look for it.

This as well I’ll gradually update the NES manual that I have on site. It will detail new monsters and bosses, as well as new gameplay mechanics and descriptions of new chapters.

I want the player to grow with me with this game. I’ll add 3 chapters before I end this game and start on the next installment. Progressively I’ll have lots of content, and in the meantime change things up for the mechanics of the sequel, relative to the first one.

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Sunday, I went to get my pass to go to a special awesome place for industry season professionals. It is called the Game Developer’s conference, or for short GDC, just to let the ones who don’t know! lol

Anyways, I got it. I’m getting set, and the next thing now is plugging my game site up so I can have it ready for demo! woohoo! Sleepless nights are awesome if it packs me with some ammo of pure show of power!

Alright, time to go to sleep now. lol

- g -

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