I feel better now that I had a meeting with my team member. Getting all the junky feelings away but I’m still in doubt. I feel that the direction of progress is to slow. I command that we do things a bit faster now that we have the tools to do so. Yet what slows us down considerably is the motivation that we had before. What was once the fire was the whole fact that we had google help us out here but unfortunate events that took place made our biggest ally go against us. I was wondering why, and waited for answers. That’s the reason why I was not so motivated.

Finally the news came my way and I know why our supporter went in doubt with us. It was the reason that we had still was working on our site and we were still experimenting with the tools we had in hand. When the results were in to go the next step, google pulled the plug on us at the last second. That’s why I wasn’t so enthused about the release of our site just before its current form (which isn’t perfect but it is still acceptable). So now what we have is a baby who needs some big attention to nurse it to maturity but we don’t have the food to help us feed it. The team acknowledges it, and thus know how I feel now about it. That’s why I want to create a middle ground solution to this problem. So thus we enter Project: Legend!

But first I have to take a breather before I start giving a new focus on the next best thing. Getting my self up and motivated is the first thing to taking the next step. So that’s why I’m relieved that I’m heading out to work today to get all the junk of my mind. Getting myself organized and ready. This is sort of my preventive against my depressive mindset, so when I’m moving around and thinking about just one objective I feel that my control is restored. Then after the need to create enters my soul again and I go at the canvas once more!

– g –