So my gears of motivation has been sparking up some good energy to keep things going. Sadly last week wasn’t what my ego wanted to have made it so. I mean about that is, it didn’t go my way. So far the beginning of last week was very troubling for me mentally. My motivation to keep the pace has dwindled by conflict of interests. As I look within myself I see that it’s all in the head but as I realize it, the window of opportunity vanishes with many who inquire my abilities because of my melancholy deep thoughts about life.
This week didn’t help at all as I receive information about my inspirational appointed figurehead, Satoru Iwata passing. Now I am not all fanatically inclined by following this guy to all directions, but I used Satoru’s image to construct an argument on better self-improvement from his work and projections. He was one as an element that fueled my enthusiasm to reach the stars. He is my Sharkman, the one symbol that keeps recurring in my life that is always self-improving and leading the way in uncharted areas. He is what a small group of friends are to me – motivation to live and learn.
I know, there shouldn’t be anything in between such a network of such, but one figure can boast such fire inside oneself, like Iwata, Say and Kathy have by example to live and continue learning.
Kathy, an element of the heart, is a mental construct formed by my mind in which my ego uses to reflect back on my reality to stay grounded. Iwata, is my element of convergence into reality, he is the one who I admire in keeping both fantasy and reality in check. This is all a construct of my mind created to guide me through the focus on reaching my long term goals and dreams. This of course doesn’t really relate the aspect of the real folks, but the after effects of their physical reach towards my inner being. That’s not easy to achieve with me.
Bethy, Sara, and Marlon are all constructed in my mind from my physical experience of them. They all have exchanged something very important, and I feel privileged for having such experiences with them. This is why I wake up crying in wanting, not needing, to have more of such experience. Conjuring such energy to create new experiences with them is almost impossible because they are as well other beings in their busy worlds. Of course, I never met Iwata, but in my mind I have.
So this week learning of his passing was as if my mentor, Marlon, had passed away. Like a father figure telling and showing examples of embracing uniqueness. The feeling is so hard and close to my heart that I really couldn’t hold my own composure when I learn of his passing. I had to take a day off to process this new reality, that’s how hard it hit me. It’s seriously affected me even though he is not here, in front of me – but his ground to earth character has deep affection within myself. I believe he was a true living hero as such. He still is a hero to me but now listed next to Bruce Lee and other legendary figures who are simply echoes of themselves and no longer physically with us.
In the light of this, I mustered enough energy to push out and have fun with the kids to work on the video that was started earlier last week. This transmutation of negative to positive is what I’m trying to master. My current energies from having contact to work with the kids actually lifts me to be much needed kinetic energy as an uplifting machine of motivation that piston itself on forward. Iwata, Kathy, and Marlon are crucial mental construct tools I use to negotiate this effect. The psychological images created is a placeholder, bridge, of my true self to echo into reality in when is needed, like a operating system command. Even though I don’t need such tools, it is an ego forming process by using the positive things and rippling it into my worlds to better have control.
And this is the result:
You see, fun is my nature. All what I mentioned and described is for to protect and strive for that. Pure innocent fun to add and make wonderful things.
The complexities of my mind I tells you, I get lost thinking about how it all works.
Any matter, I wanted to give my condolences on this post to Satoru Iwata. May he Rest in peace as you will always be my inspiration.
– Once I can conjure enough energy to create a tribute, I will definitely do.