Hey amigos, I hope you’re all doing well.
I’ve been gone for a long while without any real updates, and there’s a reason for that — so much has happened that it knocked me completely off course. I was deep into reworking a lot of the developing elements for Dark Zeta, along with a bunch of new games I was planning to post on M-Legend Arcade. Then one of my business ventures collapsed in the worst way imaginable.
It started with Amazon. I ran into a web glitch on their side that prevented me from closing an old storefront region and opening a new account. Simple enough problem — except Amazon refused to acknowledge it was their issue. Hours of anxiety attacks followed. I had already pulled together a stockpile of credit to launch a dropshipping company, and with nothing working and Amazon just cycling through auto-responses, I found myself on the edge of bankruptcy in less than three months. They simply did not care.
Since then, I had to bring in a debt settlement company to help me work through $45,000 in lost credit. The overhead from that failed launch hit immediately, and the fees have been relentless — a new bill every single day. The company helping me is still trying, but nothing so far has been able to keep up with the pace of it.
This whole situation ejected me from being able to talk about anything publicly. The grief and frustration have been suffocating. I lost my therapist when I lost my healthcare coverage — something I can no longer afford because of this mess. I’ve had to hold tightly onto the things that keep me going: my creations, my projects, the people I love. As I write this, my bank account sits at -$600 after creditors swept through everything. There have been moments where I wondered if there was any point in pushing forward at all. I want to be honest about that. The darkness has been real.
That’s why there’s been nothing fun coming from me lately. It always feels like a storm. I can’t find the time or the headspace to sit with my passions anymore. And it’s not just the emotional weight — financially, I’m bleeding. Every month I’m running about $2,000 in the red, I’m nearly a month behind on rent, the first two weeks of every month go entirely to utilities, and I can’t even afford food for stretches at a time. I’m due for medication I can’t pay for. The credit score I worked to build is collateral damage at this point. Amazon’s glitch didn’t just cost me money — it cost me stability, health, and peace of mind.
Dark Zeta and my other projects are still there, waiting for me. This past weekend I got to meet the creator of the Ninja Turtles — and that gave me a jolt of spirit energy I needed badly. It’s part of why I was able to sit down and write this today, despite everything I’m carrying.
I don’t know exactly how I’m going to get through the next stretch. But I’m doing it. The solution, as I see it, is to put my head down and push straight through the chaos. I can’t work with the creditors on their terms. I can’t keep chasing a debt settlement that’s just not sustainable. What I can do is hold on.
The good news — and there is good news — is that I’ll be spending time with my parents soon. I’m looking forward to drawing, recording my dad’s stories, and just being present with family again. That reunion is going to mean everything to me right now. I don’t know what to expect, but I know I’ll be happy there.
My game and art projects will come back to life from that positive energy. A reunification of sorts — for my soul and my creative spirit.
Thank you for reading. Really.
— G-