Hello amigos, I come to you once again-
It’s been a while since I last posted. I return for this post just so you can see I’m still alive. I stopped posting because I had my priorities placed elsewhere and lost my purpose in putting into this page altogether. I don’t even know who reads this or checks back in to see how I’m doing these days since everyone wants to be anonymous about it. The last 3 years, I had to rethink even posting anything new anymore since I fell out and became more of a hermit with my girlfriend. I also thought that there were too many folks who simply hate me and want me to disappear. There are others who I just want to be able to cut communication with in totality because of 2021’s fallout with family.
But I don’t want to come out and post anything more from what had passed already, even though in context you don’t know really what had happened since you are first seeing this post more as a stranger. If you are someone who I know and just want to inquire what’s my life right now, simply do directly or if you are either my brother or sister middle siblings, I apologize but the time needed away from you is required to reflect on what had transpired and understand further things in life for me as I felt really terrible going through those moments when selling something so precious. Today though, I understand the sacrifice more but the way it was handled could’ve been with less abuse and more trust. I felt left out and cheated in all of that but I forgive it all now, I just don’t want to open up a pathway to reconnect on any level but required, as in superficially needed. I haven’t been able to talk to any therapist about it and it has just been cooking inside me away in the void.
With that said and shoveled out of me, time to talk about the real reason for this post. I want to be open again in talking about my creative activities and what connects them to my life in general. Creativity has always been a cornerstone of my existence, shaping my experiences and perceptions in profound ways.
There is a certain magic in translating thoughts and emotions into tangible forms, whether through writing, painting, or any other medium. It is this transformative power that I find essential to my well-being. Each creative endeavor is not just an act of expression but also a journey towards self-discovery and growth.
Over the years, I’ve realized that my creative pursuits are deeply intertwined with my everyday life. They reflect my moods, aspirations, and the various phases of my journey. By sharing these experiences, I hope to foster a deeper connection with my audience and perhaps inspire others to explore their own creative paths. Creativity, after all, is a universal language that speaks to the very essence of what it means to be human.
This year started strong, with my own efforts pushing forward in getting two jobs. My first one was going back to the liquor store, but now at the parent branch. Although this has now become my second job, as the wages there are not supportable at all, it still supplements me in my quest to keep my head above water. Balancing two jobs has been challenging, yet it has also taught me valuable lessons in time management and resilience. Each day presents a new opportunity to grow and persist through the obstacles, always striving for better stability and success.
My main job is challenging, but I’m not here to delve into the specifics. Life is truly about endurance, perseverance, and the willpower to tackle tasks that might not be the most desirable. Currently, I work at a dental office, managing the front desk, which includes checking people in and handling appointments. It’s not exactly my dream job, but it’s reliable and helps pay the bills, which is what truly matters at the end of the day.
Securing this position was an unexpectedly grueling process, and I’m grateful to have it even though I often feel out of my depth. This job isn’t something I envision myself doing long-term, especially because I’m not fond of the corporate dynamics and office politics. My personality leans towards keeping my head down and working diligently without getting involved in unnecessary issues.
Interestingly, my part-time job at the liquor store has been surprisingly enjoyable compared to my office job. It’s more relaxed and I find the environment to be significantly more engaging. Unfortunately, it doesn’t offer the same financial stability as my main job at the dental office. Balancing these two roles has reminded me of the importance of endurance and the ability to persevere through less-than-ideal situations to maintain financial security.
So now with that out of the way, the last few days I have been able to pull myself together in the little time I have left over to make things again. I’ve been also trying to cut down on expenses and I made a big first step in that last few days. I see that I don’t have no savings at all and everything I earn goes out immediately, not being able to pay down my debts. That had me in an anxious state of mind, and also very depressed! Because I want to make posts again here about the cool stuff now, and also keep working on being more positive with my creative abilities!
Reflecting on this journey, it’s been a whirlwind of emotions and realizations. I didn’t mention here before, but in 2022 and 2023, I was deeply involved in 3D printing and AutoCAD designing, conceptualizing awesome ideas and bringing them to life. This period of intense creativity not only challenged me but also pushed the boundaries of what I thought was possible. Each project was a testament to my growth and my perseverance.
Looking back at those projects, I am filled with a sense of accomplishment and pride. These experiences remind me of what I’m capable of when I channel my energy positively. Now, as I navigate through these financial challenges, I am motivated to rebuild and refocus. By sharing my journey and creations here, I hope to not only inspire others but also remind myself of the importance of maintaining a hopeful and positive outlook.
Every small step towards financial stability is a victory, but the real triumph lies in finding joy in creativity and sharing that with the world. I’m committed to staying positive and continuing to explore my creative abilities, one day at a time.
I hit a milestone in learning and creating such things and want to be able to share that again here. I have put my posts behind a lock and key and backed it up, but I feel it sucks because I’ve worked over 200 posts in the time I had this webpage up. Each of these posts represents countless hours of effort, creativity, and passion, and it’s disheartening to think they might go unnoticed.
So now I want to be more active here, but it now depends on how much time I can even remember to do so after 7 days of work straight! Balancing a rigorous work schedule with a passion for blogging is incredibly challenging. It’s not just about finding the time, but also having the energy and mental clarity to produce quality content that resonates with readers.
Being consistent is the case here, and I can’t keep up in posting so much or even build a checkpoint quick enough to keep interests. The consistency needed to maintain a popular blog often feels like an insurmountable task. However, I will keep on posting irregularly regardless. Even if it’s not as frequent as I’d like, sharing my journey, my thoughts, and my experiences whenever I can is important to me.
Finally, this blog serves as a creative outlet and a way to connect with like-minded individuals. Every post, no matter how sporadic, is a testament to my dedication and passion. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read and engage with my content, and I hope to continue adding value to their lives whenever possible.
Now what I’m working on is to get the DARK ZETA website up and running at 100%. This means having both the demo of the game running smoothly and mobile controls so folks who navigate to the page via their phone can have an experience equal to those on a desktop. I recently opened up my game project folder that I hadn’t even seen since 2016. The project developments officially stopped in 2018, when I started working at the liquor store. A great depression came over me, and I couldn’t work on that project anymore. I tried to start it up again but just felt so sad that I had no help for it. Financially, I was totally broke. My life balance was completely beyond my control as I left myself in a cold place then.
I noticed, though, that when I do talk about it, folks do get interested. When I introduced it to my coworker at my new office job, she was totally into it, besides my family members. So, there is a spark of hope with this, and that’s why I want to link both Mariolegend Arcade and Dark Zeta together. The Dark Zeta project to start again anew, and the Mariolegend Arcade project to get people to play my small games on my webpage. So far, I have two HTML5 games: GridXross and DarkZeta. But I plan on having much simpler games that can be easier for folks to play and enjoy. I have a goal of getting five titles done this summer to be posted on my Mariolegend Arcade page.
This journey back to game development feels like reclaiming a lost part of myself. I remember the excitement and endless possibilities I felt when I first began working on Dark Zeta. The story, the characters, and the gameplay were all crafted with a lot of passion. Despite the setbacks and the time that’s passed, that initial spark hasn’t died. It’s been rekindled by the interest and encouragement of the people around me. Knowing that there’s even a small audience eager to see what’s next gives me the drive to push forward.
Looking ahead, I’m also considering adding blog posts and development updates to keep the community engaged. Sharing behind-the-scenes looks, concept art, and snippets of gameplay can create a sense of anticipation and bring in more support. Collaboration is another avenue I’m exploring; there are many indie developers out there who might be interested in a joint project or providing some advice.
Revisiting the old project files brought back a flood of memories and emotions. There were challenges, yes, but also moments of pure joy and creativity. The idea of merging my past efforts with new ambitions excites me. In doing so, I’m not just reviving a game but also a significant piece of my journey and aspirations.
Ultimately, my goal isn’t just to complete these projects but to build a platform where creativity and enthusiasm for indie games can thrive. A place where my small games can bring a bit of joy to someone’s day, whether they’re playing on their desktop or mobile device. And who knows? Maybe this is just the beginning of something much bigger. Each small step feels like a monumental achievement, and seeing it all come together would be the realization of a dream years in the making.
So for everything, thank you, dear reader. Thank you for making it this far through my post. I truly appreciate you. I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day and always remember to stay tuned for future updates here on my G – Journal Blog of games and life.